Grunt Tales


                "The Legend of 5 o'clock Charlie"



   The brand new Artillery Captain was showing the General his perfectly designed Fire Support Base late one afternoon. 
The General noticed that the Artillerymen were putting on their flack jackets and steel pots and moving into position near 
their guns, behind the sandbag revetments-like-wise the Grunts were getting their helmets on and moving into their bunkers 
and perimeter trench lines. He was used to that, thought little of it, the word spreads that the General has landed and the 
Troops naturally straighten up their act.
    Suddenly the General hears the familiar whip-crack sound of a half dozen full auto AK rounds snapping by. Having been 
a Grunt himself in the Huetgen Forest, and a Company Commander at the Chosin Reservoir, he takes the dive. Just as he 
slams into the red clay mud he sees out of the corner of his eye that one of the rounds is a green tracer, and that it is flying 
about 20 meters above the FSB.
    As he is snaking his way behind the nearest bunker he sees that the Grunts are taking off their helmets and getting out of 
the trenches. The Artillerymen are getting the hot flack jackets off and going back to their card games and cooking. The 
Captain is babbling something about being sorry.
He gets up, digging a gob of clay from under his belt buckle, his tailored and starched fatigues dripping red mud says, 
"What in Blue Blazes Hell is going on here Captain, I mean Lieutenant!!!" The recently demoted Lt is still trying to stammer
 out an apology: "I'm sorry, S...S...SIR!  I should have warned you, I forgot. That's just 5 o'clock Charlie, he does that every day."
"Well, since you know when and where he will be, why in Mother's Holy Name don't you order the Infantry Captain to send a Squad
 down there and kill the SOB?"
     "W...W...We thought about that Sir, but we figured that if we do that, they might replace him with somebody who knows 
      how to shoot."
                                        Wayne Walker